Travel is a distinct part of RPGs. Often times, player’s mounts are all but forgotten in scuffles or when left at the mouth of a dungeon. We think that is a shame. Horses should be as special as magic items, having names and distinct appearances. They should almost be an NPC’s of their own, with personalities, quirks, and good and bad behaviour.
Whenever your players are looking for a new steed or pack buddy, you can follow this guide. The first step is to figure out which breeds would be for sale in the region. You can use this guide to pick a distinct breed and roll for two random traits and a distinguishing feature. Or if you find a horse in the wild, you can roll a d20 to find out which breed it is.
We have a lot of love for non-horse mounts too (war dogs, reptiles, dire chickens…) and we plan on making rules for those as well, but these are all strictly horses.
If you grew up among thieves and struggled to find each meal, you’d have different priorities and knowledge than the child of a profitable cult leader on the outskirts of society. And your stats would reflect that.
These charts show you where you grew up and the unfortunate circumstances in that environment that helped shape you. This is not who you are now. These are events and conditions that you grew up with. How you accepted or fought against them decides who you are now.
So if you want an out-of-my-first-range-increment bane crossbow or a set of iron spikes that create tangible sexual tension whenever you make finger guns, check out the generator. 5 billion+ items with a new one available as quickly as you can click.
FINE CODPIECE THAT VIBRATES SLIGHTLY WHENEVER THE MOON IS DIRECTLY ABOVE IT
INFUSED BULLS EYE LANTERN THAT CHANGES YOUR GENDER WHENEVER YOU MAKE A PUN
INDESTRUCTIBLE PENDANT THAT TELEPORTS THE PERSON USING IT WHENEVER YOU LIGHT IT ON FIRE
WAXY LANDSHARK HIDE THAT MAKES YOU THINK DIRTY THOUGHTS WHENEVER UNDEAD ARE CLOSE
PIXIE-CRAFTED CHARIOT THAT SCOLDS YOU WITH YOUR MOTHER’S VOICE WHENEVER YOU GET BUZZED
With The Gollicking’s own WHAT THE FUCK IS MY RIDICULOUS MAGICAL ITEM GENERATOR, you could have it! Or one of thousands of other items because we made a lot of possibilities that all smash together t make something glorious (and sometimes cursed)! Any time you need a magical item (weapon, tool, clothing, loot, etc.) just check out the generator!
This was highly influenced by whothefuckismydndcharacter.com, and if you don’t already know about it, check it out. It’s an amazing quick and humorous character creator for PCs and NPCs.